Talk at Kathy's Alaska Funeral

Kathy Offret Funeral Remarks given by a friend who was a member of the Stake Presidency.

In behalf of Ron and Kathy, the children, Kathy’s immediate and extended family, and all

of us who know her and love her, I thank you for being here. Knowing Kathy^ the size

of this congregation is no surprise. Kathy is the consummate "people person". My wife

frequently has stated that Kathy collects people. I think that is strongly in evidence here

today.

She has a quality about her that causes us each to think that we are her best friend.

However, the phrase "best friend" never has been, or ever will be singular in Kathy's

mind, only plural.

Since Ron asked me to speak I have had little else on my mind but what I might say.

Early on I knew that I had better be careful. Most certainly Kathy is well aware of these

proceedings, and if I "screw this up" somehow, someday, she will make sure that I hear

about it.

To Kathy, I would definitely "blow it" if I got emotional, or maudlin, or carried on about

what a great person she is, though we all know that to be the case. She would definitely

want this to be "no big deal".

Consequentially I have to tell some "Kathy stories".

A couple of years ago Kathy and Ron decided to take Sharon and I out for my birthday.

My birthday is in July, but our schedules were such that we didn’t get together until fairly

late in the fal1.

They decided that we had to be introduced to their favorite restaurant, a hole-in-the-wall

Cajun place in Girdwood—the Double Musky Inn. The place doesn't take reservations,

and by the time we arrived, we had about a three hour wait to get a table. For most of

that time Kathy kept us laughing telling us stories about her years as a single adult before

she met and married Ron.

Oh, by the way, she and Ron also give me a birthday present. She had found out some

way, how I’ll never know, that my middle name is Roy. So naturally she bought me a

Roy Rogers cowboy hat neatly wrapped, with an appropriate card.

She told the story of how she finished her education at BYU. It was spring. She was sick

of school, and was only a few credit hours short of graduation. She wanted to get them

out of the way as quickly as she could in the first session of summer school. She went

through the class schedule, and picked the first class that had enough hours, and that she

could complete in 30 days. There was a catch. It was a special "Survival Class" where

students were taken to the most remote part of the southern Utah desert, and required to

survive for 30 days on the limited supplies they were allowed to take with them and what

they could find in the desert.

We sat listening, suspended somewhere between amazement and hilarity, as she

described eating snakes and lizards, climbing rocks, walking for miles, and her contempt

for the wimps, particularly the boys, who couldn't cut it and quit.

Another story that particularly typified Kathy was an experience that occurred in Boston,

after she had graduated, and before she married Ron. She was working as a secretary at

MIT at the time, and was seriously considering getting an MBA degree there. She lived

in an old brownstone apartment building that was situated in a pretty rough area of

Boston. It had no air conditioning and the sounds of police sirens, fights, and even gun

shots frequently drifted through the windows left open to give some relief from the

oppressive humidity of the Boston summer. Consequentially she was generally quite

careful about being alone, particularly late at night.

One weekend all the people in her building were gone, except for two young women who

had just arrived from Salt Lake to spend the summer with her. She had volunteered to

babysit for some friends and was out later then she had intended, staying and talking with

them after they came home.

As she drove her car to the apartment, it was well after midnight and she was tired. As

she parked her car, she noticed a man loitering at the base of the steps to her building.

Normally she would have had the wisdom to drive off, but she just wanted to get to bed

so she got out of the car and started up the steps.

As she did, the man pulled a knife on her and in a threatening manner told her to, "Come

here!"

She said her heart nearly stopped. She had always wondered what she would do in such a

situation and now she was about to find out. There was little hope of running away. He

would surely catch her. She wasn't so sure what good screaming would do considering

the neighborhood she lived in and that no one but the two young women were home.

She measured the distance to the door with her eye, but knew she could never get to the

front door; get her key out; the door unlocked; and safely inside before he could grab her.

She then took a typically Kathy approach to her problem. She put her hands on her hips,

looked at the man in disgust, and said, "I haven't got time for this!" and ran up the steps

and began pushing all the door bells. As the ring of the bells drifted through the open

windows of the empty apartments, Kathy's assailant looked at her in astonishment and

then ran off.

This is the same attitude that Kathy took towards her illness—“I haven't got time for

this.” I only hope that I can face my own inevitable death, with the same courage, faith,

and dignity with which she faced hers.

The death of a loved one, particularly someone as young and vibrant as Kathy is always

painful for those who remain behind in this mortal life. It is rarely welcomed or

celebrated. However, those who understand the Plan of Salvation authored by our

Father-in-Heaven realize that our grief should be confined to sorrow for the separation

we experience, which prevails only temporarily. Death does not bring the black abyss of

non-existence that some preach as truth. The immortality of man is a reality that gives

purpose to our existence and lends faith and hope to the human heart.

Christ has proclaimed:

For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

There are three ways that Kathy and all of us live after death. First is through our deeds, whether they are good or evil. Our actions and our personality live on in the minds of our family and acquaintances long after our passing. Secondly, we live through our posterity as our name and blood are perpetuated through our progenitors. And lastly we live beyond death because the spirit that resides within our mortal bodies is immortal and cannot die.

This spirit was created by God long before we came to this earth. Moses records these words given to him in revelation;

For I, the Lord God, created all things, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth. . . And I, the Lord God, created all the children of men; for in heaven created I them; and there was not yet flesh upon the earth, neither in the water, neither in the air.

This scripture reveals that God is truly our Father and that literally we all are brothers and sisters, for each of our spirits were created by Him in heaven before we came to earth.

At birth, our spirit comes from the presence of God and enters our mortal, physical body created by our earthly parents. But this initial joining of the spirit to the body is temporary, for with birth death becomes inevitable for all of us.

By the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, until thou shalt return unto the ground . . . for thou shalt surely die—for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou wast, and unto dust shalt thou return.

At death our spirit returns to the presence of God to await the resurrection when our spirit will permanently be reunited with our restored body. The prophet Alma confirms this in his sermon to his son Shiblon when he writes:

Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow.

This dwelling of our spirits in a state of paradise, in the presence of God that Alma describes is, like our life on earth also temporary. For it is our Father's plan that we not remain spirits, but that at Christ's Second Coming our bodies be raised from the dead, restored completely, made immortal and reunited with our spirits, just as the Saviour Himself was resurrected.

The Apostle Paul states:

Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.

The ancient prophet Job of the Old Testament inquires of the Lord, “If a man die, shall he live again?” And after being told of the resurrection states, “For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And again though skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.”

Christ, the son of God, came to this earth voluntarily for two main purposes. First to atone for the sins of all mankind, that if we repent, and believe on Him we may be forgiven of our sins. Secondly, He freely gave up His life, allowing himself to be

crucified, and by doing so was able to take it up again and become an immortal,

resurrected being—His spirit and body permanently linked together, never again to taste

pain or death.

In the New Testament when He appears to the Apostles for the first time after His

crucifixion and subsequent resurrection, Luke records that Christ stated:

Why are ye troubled? And why do thoughts arise in your hearts? Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.

John the Beloved expands on this and tells us that we also will be resurrected;

Beloved now are we the sons of God, . . .we know that, when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

But to get a detailed description of the resurrection we must turn to the words of that great ancient missionary Amulek.

And he shall come into the world to redeem his people: and he shall take upon him the transgressions of those who believe in his name; and these are they that shall have eternal life, and salvation cometh to none else.

Therefore, the wicked remain as though there had been no redemption made, except it be the loosing of the bands of death; for behold, the day cometh that all shall rise from the dead and stand before God, and be judged according to their works.

Now, there is a death which is called a temporal death; and the death of Christ shall loose the bands of this temporal death, that all shall be raised from this temporal death.

The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame, even as we now are at this time;

Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but everything shall be restored to its perfect frame, as it is now,. . . and shall be brought and be arraigned before the bar of Christ the Son, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, . .to be judged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil.

Amulek testified plainly that all mankind shall be raised from the dead. That our bodies will be totally restored and made immortal never to taste death again, and that we shall be reunited with our loved ones. Death is only a temporary condition that all of us must endure. Its pain is only the grief of a temporary separation, not as the world would have us believe the end of existence.

However our grief is deep and real, particularly when someone as young and as loved as

Kathy is taken by death from her family and friends. Many might ask, "Why this must be?" Some may be tempted to rail against God, questioning His love for us to allow such things to happen. Others may question Kathy's faith, or worthiness to have the hand of

God intervene in her life and heal her. Such thoughts are composed of the vilest hue and come from that diabolical father of all lies.

Kathy, Ron, and their family have kept their thoughts and faith far above such a sordid plane. I have heard them speak only with appreciation for the peace and comfort that their Lord has granted them through His Spirit which they have felt in abundance as

Kathy's illness progressed.

I know of no one more worthy of His blessings, or no one who has had more, faithful, worthy prayers offered in their behalf then Kathy and Ron. They do not feel abandoned by their God. We do them a great disservice to question that which they do not. They know that He has heard their prayers, but He in his great wisdom, for purposes we do not understand has said. "No."

Just as a child cannot always comprehend the reasoning behind the rules, discipline, and requirements of his parents neither can we as infant children of our Heavenly Parents comprehend all that God does or does not do.

The Prophet Isaiah understood this.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

King Benjamin in his last great address to his people before his own death spoke to the same theme:

For the natural man is an enemy to God and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

Kathy fought her illness with all her might, facing it with faith, courage, and dignity. She prayed fervently to her Father-In-Heaven and felt of His peace and spirit. She accepted with faith His desires for her. We must do likewise.

If we truly desire to honor her let us put out of our lives any bitterness we may harbor about her death. She certainly had none. Let us look at our own lives and try to implement those qualities so abundant in hers: commitment to God and church; an enthusiasm for life; service to others; and love of family and friends.

Oh how grateful I am that Christ was willing to lay down His life, not only for Kathy but for all of us, and provide the Atonement that we might live again. This is the knowledge

that sustains; this is the truth that comforts; this is the assurance that guides those bowed down with grief out of the shadows and into the light.

In the words of the Prophet Joseph:

And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!

For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—

That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.

Because of this great sacrifice which the Saviour made in our behalf, not only does Kathy

now live as a spirit, but she shall be resurrected—her spirit to be reunited with a perfected

and immortal body once again to be with her husband, and children, and family to whom

she has been eternally sealed in God's sacred temple, by His holy priesthood. To this fact

I bear witness in His holy name, Amen.