Kathy Offret Funeral Remarks given by a friend who was a member of the Stake Presidency.
In
behalf of Ron and Kathy, the children, Kathy’s immediate and extended family,
and all
of us
who know her and love her, I thank you for being here. Knowing Kathy^ the size
of
this congregation is no surprise. Kathy is the consummate "people
person". My wife
frequently
has stated that Kathy collects people. I think that is strongly in evidence
here
today.
She
has a quality about her that causes us each to think that we are her best
friend.
However,
the phrase "best friend" never has been, or ever will be singular in
Kathy's
mind,
only plural.
Since
Ron asked me to speak I have had little else on my mind but what I might say.
Early
on I knew that I had better be careful. Most certainly Kathy is well aware of
these
proceedings,
and if I "screw this up" somehow, someday, she will make sure that I
hear
about
it.
To
Kathy, I would definitely "blow it" if I got emotional, or maudlin,
or carried on about
what
a great person she is, though we all know that to be the case. She would
definitely
want
this to be "no big deal".
Consequentially
I have to tell some "Kathy stories".
A
couple of years ago Kathy and Ron decided to take Sharon and I out for my
birthday.
My
birthday is in July, but our schedules were such that we didn’t get together
until fairly
late
in the fal1.
They
decided that we had to be introduced to their favorite restaurant, a
hole-in-the-wall
Cajun
place in Girdwood—the Double Musky Inn. The place doesn't take reservations,
and
by the time we arrived, we had about a three hour wait to get a table. For most
of
that
time Kathy kept us laughing telling us stories about her years as a single
adult before
she
met and married Ron.
Oh,
by the way, she and Ron also give me a birthday present. She had found out some
way,
how I’ll never know, that my middle name is Roy. So naturally she bought me a
Roy
Rogers cowboy hat neatly wrapped, with an appropriate card.
She
told the story of how she finished her education at BYU. It was spring. She was
sick
of
school, and was only a few credit hours short of graduation. She wanted to get
them
out
of the way as quickly as she could in the first session of summer school. She
went
through
the class schedule, and picked the first class that had enough hours, and that
she
could
complete in 30 days. There was a catch. It was a special "Survival
Class" where
students
were taken to the most remote part of the southern Utah desert, and required to
survive
for 30 days on the limited supplies they were allowed to take with them and
what
they
could find in the desert.
We
sat listening, suspended somewhere between amazement and hilarity, as she
described
eating snakes and lizards, climbing rocks, walking for miles, and her contempt
for
the wimps, particularly the boys, who couldn't cut it and quit.
Another
story that particularly typified Kathy was an experience that occurred in Boston,
after
she had graduated, and before she married Ron. She was working as a secretary
at
MIT
at the time, and was seriously considering getting an MBA degree there. She
lived
in an
old brownstone apartment building that was situated in a pretty rough area of
Boston. It had no air
conditioning and the sounds of police sirens, fights, and even gun
shots
frequently drifted through the windows left open to give some relief from the
oppressive
humidity of the Boston
summer. Consequentially she was generally quite
careful
about being alone, particularly late at night.
One
weekend all the people in her building were gone, except for two young women
who
had
just arrived from Salt
Lake to spend the summer
with her. She had volunteered to
babysit
for some friends and was out later then she had intended, staying and talking
with
them
after they came home.
As
she drove her car to the apartment, it was well after midnight and she was tired. As
she
parked her car, she noticed a man loitering at the base of the steps to her
building.
Normally
she would have had the wisdom to drive off, but she just wanted to get to bed
so
she got out of the car and started up the steps.
As
she did, the man pulled a knife on her and in a threatening manner told her to,
"Come
here!"
She
said her heart nearly stopped. She had always wondered what she would do in
such a
situation
and now she was about to find out. There was little hope of running away. He
would
surely catch her. She wasn't so sure what good screaming would do considering
the
neighborhood she lived in and that no one but the two young women were home.
She
measured the distance to the door with her eye, but knew she could never get to
the
front
door; get her key out; the door unlocked; and safely inside before he could
grab her.
She
then took a typically Kathy approach to her problem. She put her hands on her
hips,
looked
at the man in disgust, and said, "I haven't got time for this!" and
ran up the steps
and
began pushing all the door bells. As the ring of the bells drifted through the
open
windows
of the empty apartments, Kathy's assailant looked at her in astonishment and
then
ran off.
This
is the same attitude that Kathy took towards her illness—“I haven't got time
for
this.”
I only hope that I can face my own inevitable death, with the same courage,
faith,
and
dignity with which she faced hers.
The
death of a loved one, particularly someone as young and vibrant as Kathy is
always
painful
for those who remain behind in this mortal life. It is rarely welcomed or
celebrated.
However, those who understand the Plan of Salvation authored by our
Father-in-Heaven
realize that our grief should be confined to sorrow for the separation
we
experience, which prevails only temporarily. Death does not bring the black abyss
of
non-existence
that some preach as truth. The immortality of man is a reality that gives
purpose
to our existence and lends faith and hope to the human heart.
Christ
has proclaimed:
For
behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and
eternal life of man. I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in
me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; And whosoever liveth and believeth
in me shall never die.
There
are three ways that Kathy and all of us live after death. First is through our
deeds, whether they are good or evil. Our actions and our personality live on
in the minds of our family and acquaintances long after our passing. Secondly,
we live through our posterity as our name and blood are perpetuated through our
progenitors. And lastly we live beyond death because the spirit that resides
within our mortal bodies is immortal and cannot die.
This
spirit was created by God long before we came to this earth. Moses records
these words given to him in revelation;
For
I, the Lord God, created all things, spiritually, before they were naturally
upon the face of the earth. . . And I, the Lord God, created all the children
of men; for in heaven created I them; and there was not yet flesh upon the
earth, neither in the water, neither in the air.
This
scripture reveals that God is truly our Father and that literally we all are
brothers and sisters, for each of our spirits were created by Him in heaven
before we came to earth.
At
birth, our spirit comes from the presence of God and enters our mortal,
physical body created by our earthly parents. But this initial joining of the
spirit to the body is temporary, for with birth death becomes inevitable for
all of us.
By
the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, until thou shalt return unto the
ground . . . for thou shalt surely die—for out of it wast thou taken: for dust
thou wast, and unto dust shalt thou return.
At
death our spirit returns to the presence of God to await the resurrection when
our spirit will permanently be reunited with our restored body. The prophet
Alma confirms this in his sermon to his son Shiblon when he writes:
Now,
concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it
has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon
as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men,
whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.
And
then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are
received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest,
a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all
care, and sorrow.
This
dwelling of our spirits in a state of paradise, in the presence of God that Alma describes is, like
our life on earth also temporary. For it is our Father's plan that we not remain
spirits, but that at Christ's Second Coming our bodies be raised from the dead,
restored completely, made immortal and reunited with our spirits, just as the
Saviour Himself was resurrected.
The
Apostle Paul states:
Eye
hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the
things which God hath prepared for them that love him. For as in Adam all die,
even so in Christ shall all be made alive.
The
ancient prophet Job of the Old Testament inquires of the Lord, “If a man
die, shall he live again?” And after being told of the resurrection states,
“For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter
day upon the earth: And again though skin worms destroy this body, yet in my
flesh shall I see God.”
Christ,
the son of God, came to this earth voluntarily for two main purposes. First to atone
for the sins of all mankind, that if we repent, and believe on Him we may be forgiven
of our sins. Secondly, He freely gave up His life, allowing himself to be
crucified,
and by doing so was able to take it up again and become an immortal,
resurrected
being—His spirit and body permanently linked together, never again to taste
pain
or death.
In
the New Testament when He appears to the Apostles for the first time after His
crucifixion
and subsequent resurrection, Luke records that Christ stated:
Why
are ye troubled? And why do thoughts arise in your hearts? Behold my hands and
my feet, that it is I myself: handle me and see; for a spirit hath not flesh
and bones, as ye see me have.
John
the Beloved expands on this and tells us that we also will be resurrected;
Beloved
now are we the sons of God, . . .we know that, when he shall appear we shall be
like him, for we shall see him as he is.
But
to get a detailed description of the resurrection we must turn to the words of
that great ancient missionary Amulek.
And
he shall come into the world to redeem his people: and he shall take upon him
the transgressions of those who believe in his name; and these are they that
shall have eternal life, and salvation cometh to none else.
Therefore,
the wicked remain as though there had been no redemption made, except it be the
loosing of the bands of death; for behold, the day cometh that all shall rise
from the dead and stand before God, and be judged according to their works.
Now,
there is a death which is called a temporal death; and the death of Christ
shall loose the bands of this temporal death, that all shall be raised from
this temporal death.
The
spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and
joint shall be restored to its proper frame, even as we now are at this time;
Now,
this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free,
both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall
not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but everything shall be restored
to its perfect frame, as it is now,. . . and shall be brought and be arraigned
before the bar of Christ the Son, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, .
.to be judged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be
evil.
Amulek
testified plainly that all mankind shall be raised from the dead. That our
bodies will be totally restored and made immortal never to taste death again,
and that we shall be reunited with our loved ones. Death is only a temporary
condition that all of us must endure. Its pain is only the grief of a temporary
separation, not as the world would have us believe the end of existence.
However
our grief is deep and real, particularly when someone as young and as loved as
Kathy
is taken by death from her family and friends. Many might ask, "Why this
must be?" Some may be tempted to rail against God, questioning His love
for us to allow such things to happen. Others may question Kathy's faith, or
worthiness to have the hand of
God
intervene in her life and heal her. Such thoughts are composed of the vilest
hue and come from that diabolical father of all lies.
Kathy,
Ron, and their family have kept their thoughts and faith far above such a
sordid plane. I have heard them speak only with appreciation for the peace and
comfort that their Lord has granted them through His Spirit which they have
felt in abundance as
Kathy's
illness progressed.
I
know of no one more worthy of His blessings, or no one who has had more,
faithful, worthy prayers offered in their behalf then Kathy and Ron. They do
not feel abandoned by their God. We do them a great disservice to question that
which they do not. They know that He has heard their prayers, but He in his
great wisdom, for purposes we do not understand has said. "No."
Just
as a child cannot always comprehend the reasoning behind the rules, discipline,
and requirements of his parents neither can we as infant children of our
Heavenly Parents comprehend all that God does or does not do.
The
Prophet Isaiah understood this.
For
my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the
Lord.
For
as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
King
Benjamin in his last great address to his people before his own death spoke to
the same theme:
For
the natural man is an enemy to God and has been from the fall of Adam, and will
be forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and
putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of
Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient,
full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to
inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
Kathy
fought her illness with all her might, facing it with faith, courage, and dignity.
She prayed fervently to her Father-In-Heaven and felt of His peace and spirit.
She accepted with faith His desires for her. We must do likewise.
If we
truly desire to honor her let us put out of our lives any bitterness we may
harbor about her death. She certainly had none. Let us look at our own lives
and try to implement those qualities so abundant in hers: commitment to God and
church; an enthusiasm for life; service to others; and love of family and
friends.
Oh
how grateful I am that Christ was willing to lay down His life, not only for
Kathy but for all of us, and provide the Atonement that we might live again.
This is the knowledge
that
sustains; this is the truth that comforts; this is the assurance that guides
those bowed down with grief out of the shadows and into the light.
In
the words of the Prophet Joseph:
And
now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the
testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives!
For
we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing
record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father—
That
by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the
inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God.
Because
of this great sacrifice which the Saviour made in our behalf, not only does
Kathy
now
live as a spirit, but she shall be resurrected—her spirit to be reunited with a
perfected
and
immortal body once again to be with her husband, and children, and family to
whom
she
has been eternally sealed in God's sacred temple, by His holy priesthood. To
this fact
I bear witness in His holy name, Amen.
