Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Monday, January 2, 2017

For the Love of a Father

For the Love of a Father
My first visit to the Bradley home on Second Avenue was in 1969 when I was dating Bob, the oldest of the fourteen Bradley children. As we entered the home, we were invited into the kitchen. It was packed with people of all ages who were sitting and standing around eating avocado sandwiches served on Mom Bradley's delicious homemade wheat bread. Bob introduced me, and I was immediately offered a bite of someone's huge avocado sandwich. I love avocados. I grew up in California with an avocado tree, so the bite was hard to resist, but I couldn't see myself chomping into some stranger's sandwich.

What I would come to learn about the Bradley family was that everyone shared everything and in abundance. I was introduced to the huge, metal milk machine. When I pulled the handle, my glass instantly filled with ice cold, refreshing milk. When we gathered around the dining table, a delicious meal of roast, carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy, salad, and rolls was passed around until we were full. Having come from a home with only three children, and where both parents worked, we ate a lot of TV dinners, so eating with the Bradleys was truly a feast.

In the kitchen, I watched the two littlest sisters, Barbara and Lisa, bake what seemed like a hundred chocolate chip cookies for all to enjoy. Leftovers were frozen to pack in school lunches. I watched David lie down on the couch with his head in an older sister's lap and watched her play with his hair. I heard Betsy yell to her siblings, "Who wants to make a 7-Eleven stop?" and they jumped in the car and were off. When I visited Dad's home furnishings store, I saw a few handsome young men and women, who had been taught by their father how to be gracious and professional as they engaged with customers. It was the Bradley way.

In the evening when dad walked into the house, I watched him put his arms around each child, give a kiss on the lips, and say, "I love you."  Dad had been known to come home and awaken a baby just to kiss him good night. Having grown up in a home without this kind of loving attention, as I experienced all this, I knew in my heart, beyond any doubt, that this was the family that I wanted to be connected with forever--such an abundance of everything I ever wanted in my life.

A year later, Bob and I decided to get married, which brought yet another abundant experience into my life, as mom sewed my wedding dress, dad and the kids re-landscaped the backyard, and the entire family catered the most fabulous wedding feast for our reception.

What I was to learn as time went on was that dad came from a family with nothing. He watched his father walk out and drive away when he was seven years old. His mother went to work at a department store to provide for her children, and they moved into the unfinished basement of his Aunt Nelly's house. Dad found jobs at a young age delivering newspapers, stocking shelves, and working in sales. He worked hard his entire life. He served in his church and paid his tithing--once even mortgaging his home to pay it.

Dad's greatest love was his family, and he wanted his children to have a happy home. They all loved to laugh. Over the years, the Lord blessed him financially. Later in life, he invested in wonderful places for his extended family to gather for family reunions to help them stay connected. He bought a large home in Park City, Utah and later in St. George, Utah as gathering places. He provided funds for family reunions held at the beach, mountain chateaus, water parks, and roller rinks. He prepaid for events that would continue on into the future as well as booked cruises for his children and their spouses to enjoy together for years to come.

But even more importantly, Dad was personally in touch with the lives of each of his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. He wanted all of our families to be successful, so he compiled books for us. As he became acquainted with the Internet, he began sending us weekly email messages of love and hope and advice. Whenever I responded to him, he always got back to me with a loving message in a day or two. He loved me as one of his own. Dad had the gift of drawing many people into his life.
The remarkable thing about Dad was that he was diabetic and blind. This could have made his world very small and protected, but his desire to reach out and to love only grew.

On Friday, December 30, over 500 people flocked to Dad's funeral. Amazing to me were the many grandchildren who traveled from all over the country (New York, Oregon, Arizona, Idaho, Connecticut, Colorado, Vermont, California, Ohio, Chicago, Kansas City, Boston, Virginia, and Alaska) to pay their last respects to their grandfather.

Dad requested that the funeral service be kept to one hour, and then the feast--oh the feast! He had reserved two ballrooms at the Little America Hotel, and requested a beautifully catered banquet to feed his entire family--14 children, 86 grandchildren, 231 great grandchildren, and one great-great grandchild.

"Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!"
--Dr. Seuss

He just wanted us to have a great, old time on the day of his funeral! Such love and abundance! This is what I learned from Dad, our dear and beloved Father. Because of him, like a giant redwood tree, our roots grow wide, so that we connect with hundreds of others, so that we hold each other up, so that together, we weather the storms of life. It takes the talents of all of us, as Dad well knew, as he drew on his children's strengths for support in making all of his dreams come true to the end.

I feel blessed and grateful to be connected to the Bradley family. Dad taught us to stand strong, to be courageous and resilient, and to stay together forever. Dad's last gift was a beautiful minted coin given at his funeral to each person in the family. His family motto, "No Empty Chairs," is imprinted on this coin and will be forever stamped in our hearts.
We will all be together again, Dad. Thank you . . . for everything.
With great love and appreciation,

Lonnie